so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
