im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
