I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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