Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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