we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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