you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
