He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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