If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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