I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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