Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
