Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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