Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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