At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
