he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
