with your own penis?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
