is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
