I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
