The maid of honor just puked.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
