I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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