all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
