i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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