He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize