i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
