I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
