At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
