You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
