found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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