No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize