All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize