Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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