i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My penis needs a shock collar
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
