By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize