he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
