I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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