his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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