That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
