his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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