i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
foreskin is a definite game changer
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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