They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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