The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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