Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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