I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize