If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
