at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
