But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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