I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize