Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
