...so i touched it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
