The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
