she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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