don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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