We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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