Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
