When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize