so that wasnt chicken after all
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
