i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
