Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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