Define "chronic" masturbator.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
