I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So much rum. So many feels.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
