God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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