dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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