Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
