D3 body, D1 cock
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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