I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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