she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize