I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
