Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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